Since I’m not getting any, I figured I could at least write about it…

Sleep that is.

My last good memory of waking up truly and undeniably refreshed was the morning after the first night of our honeymoon. We had spent the whole day before traveling dealing with layovers and delays. Not to mention we were exhausted from the wedding preparations. By the time we arrived in Belize we were just beat. We had dinner on our balcony, and fell asleep by 8pm. I awoke the next morning holding my sweet husband’s hand, (trust me we are not the cuddling in our sleep type) with the sun streaming into our room. We just looked at each other and smiled. It was the first time in a long time we both woke up feeling refreshed and recharged. It was the perfect honeymoon memory.

I didn’t know at that time it was going to be the last time I woke up feeling so rested for a long time. When we returned from out honeymoon, we had only a few weeks until my husband deployed for his job. When he is gone, I never seem to truly rest. Although, I will confess having the bed all to myself sometimes is nice, but I would rather have him there.

The Hubs returned early and unexpected after injuring his knee. We spent the days trying to get his workman’s compensation claim going so he could get the attention he needed.

Perhaps the biggest surprise came a month later when we discovered (very happily) we were going to be parents. I knew at that moment sleeping wasn’t ever going to be the same, and boy was I right!

I had a somewhat difficult pregnancy with horrible sciatica and SPD. Every time I rolled over it felt like someone was grinding into my pelvic bone. (Really it was rubbing together!!) That was a pain I was not prepared for.

Then our son was born! And while he is a super mellow and sweet Squishy little baby he didn’t start sleeping through the night until 11 months. It didn't last long; 1 week after he began to sleep through the night, he got Hand Foot and Mouth Disease, followed quickly by a bout of Bronchitis.

When he was better he started to sleep through the night again, and now we are dealing with a mysterious affliction, which could quite possibly be his 1 year molars, but he also has 103 temperature… so needless to say he is up about every hour to two hours.

Around 12 months I also started to have problems falling asleep. This happened to correspond with my husband’s deployment. I never sleep right when my best friend isn’t there.

All this lack of sleeping has me thinking a few things:
1. Will I ever wake up feeling rested again?
2. I wonder if people are beginning to notice I am turning into a Zombie Mommy again.
3. Will I ever stop thinking about thinking about how nice it would be to sleep?

It is such a vicious cycle I decided to give into it… I am embracing my inner sleep deprived crazy person, and try not to think about thinking about when I will ever get some sleep! I am hoping the best way to stop thinking about thinking about sleeping is to blog all about it. Maybe I can see what others are saying about sleep to see if they have any insight…

The Dalai Lama says “Sleep is the best meditation.” Hmmm, I guess I am not going to be the most connected to my inner going ons. Henry David Thoreau wrote, “I put a piece of paper under my pillow, and when I could not sleep I wrote in the dark.” I have spent many sleepless nights’ blogging or playing games in my bed, but I think that if I put my computer underneath my pillow I really wouldn’t be able to sleep!

Ralph Waldo Emerson strikes a chord with me with his look into sleep. “There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.” Truer words are hard to come by in this house!  I think Victor Hugo must have been talking about my newborn, because as tender as I think my arms may be, he hasn’t wanted to sleep in them since he was 4 months old. “A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them.”

John Cage said “It's useless to play lullabies for those who cannot sleep.” I have to agree, and would also add counting sheep only works if you are the only one who isn’t sleeping… But you know it is really bad when you can start identifying with the un-dead! “How blessed are some people, whose lives have no fears, no dreads; to whom sleep is a blessing that comes nightly, and brings nothing but sweet dreams.” ~Bram Stoker.

Finally let’s take a look at two of the favorite sleep sayings I came across in my research to blog about sleep so I wouldn’t want to think about thinking about not sleeping… Perhaps once you become a parent you should just embrace Warren Zevon’s famous quote, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” And finally I came across this Miley Cyrus quote ,“I love to sleep. I'd sleep all day if I could.” All I could think was; Honey I wish you would!

What? It’s not my fault – that is the sleep deprivation talking…